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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26669743">The Scientist's Gamble</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ih3artgerm/pseuds/ih3artgerm'>ih3artgerm</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:40:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,266</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26669743</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ih3artgerm/pseuds/ih3artgerm</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Attention! Commander Erwin has sent me here today with an announcement! In exactly one month an expedition will take place outside the walls!", Moblit pauses for a second, paying close attention to the reactions in front of him. "The goal of this mission will be..."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hange Zoë &amp; Reader, Hange Zoë/Reader, Hanji Zoe &amp; Reader, Hanji Zoe/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>129</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Before</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I would like to thank my amazing wife for editing this fic for me, I know it wasn't easy and I love her very much. She has been nothing but supportive from the very beginning and her help is extremely appreciated as I try to find own my writing style in a whole different language. She's amazing and I'm very lucky to have her in my life!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Wait... So we're going outside the walls to capture a titan so that Squad Leader Hanji can experiment on it?" someone asks from the back of the room.</p><p>"Well... Yes, but it's for the good of humanity," Moblit says while he holds the bridge of his nose. The expression on his face tells you that he did not agree with this, but he is willing to give it a go so long as life inside the walls could take its next step towards the truth. "The Commander has given his OK, so this operation will be moving forward. Now, how she managed to convince him to agree to this is beyond me..." His voice disappears as he walks out of the room, all the while scribbling on his clipboard. </p><p> </p><p>As soon as his silhouette is out of sight, the room starts to fill with murmurs.</p><p>"That's such a waste of resources!"</p><p>"We should be out there killing titans, not this!"</p><p>From your spot in the corner of the room, you begin to write in your journal everything you might need to prepare for the expedition, such as a new training schedule and what arrangements would need to be done.</p><p> </p><p>"Y/N?" says a disembodied voice, startling you a bit and pulling you away from your to-do list. "Y/N? Are you in there?"</p><p>You look up to see Eren waving his hand in front of your face, almost failing to catch your attention. </p><p>"Oh, I'm sorry," you say, not looking at him, and not really sorry. "What were you saying?"</p><p> </p><p>He laughs. "You really are hopeless. Would you like to come train with us?" He gestures at the Cadet group as they walk out the door.</p><p>"Oh, not today," you say, "I need to head back to my room to collect some of my notes and deliver them to my Squad Leader. I wouldn't want our next expedition to be delayed, you know!" Although you try your best to remain serious, the enthusiasm in your voice is undeniable. </p><p> </p><p>He rolls his eyes and allows his lips to curl into a smirk, "We'll catch up with you later then!" he says while walking towards the door and just like that, you're alone in the classroom.<br/>Packing your things, you make your way out. You read the notes in your hands as you walk, making sure you only need to make one quick stop before heading toward the lab. </p><p> </p><p>Once in your room, you look underneath every book, paper, and pile of clothes. You try your best to find your notes on titan deterioration, but quickly realize they are nowhere to be found.</p><p>Did you not bring them back after the last expedition? No, you remember seeing them just a couple of days ago. Could they be with old reports? No, you just checked. Did someone take them? At that moment, you realize that just may be what happened. After what happened with Annie Leonhardt, you didn't know who you could trust, and as a result, you've been being extremely careful not to misplace your paperwork.</p><p>Yet somehow your most important piece of work is missing. Slowly but surely, panic sets in. "What will I tell Squad Leader Hanji? I don't want to disappoint her," you mutter, taking a deep breath. Panicking won't help right now, so you do your best to pull yourself together, and gather all the other papers you need before making your way towards the lab.</p><p>You knock on the lab door rather loudly a couple of times.</p><p>"Come in!" Your heart skips a beat at the sound of her voice calling from the inside of the room. You open the door slowly, remembering past instances of her dropping glass beakers when startled. Luckily Hanji is just sitting at her desk, writing reports. Likely about the most recent past expedition, probably where she got the idea of capturing yet another titan to serve as her experiment. At least that would give Eren a little bit of a break. He really needs it.</p><p>"Squad Leader Hanji, I brought you all the data I've collected about titans from previous expeditions. The most common sizes, our studies on abnormal..." Your hearts speeds up as you notice her looking at you, but you can't bring yourself to face her as you speak again. "I can't seem to find the papers about their deterioration. All the details we've collected seem to be lost. I'm so sorry, and I'll keep looking for it. If I can't find it until tonight, I'll write you a new report from memory, I swear." You can feel her eyes on you, and it gets a little harder to breathe. Your lungs try their best to keep up with the speed of your rambling.</p><p>"Well, Y/N," Hanji says, getting closer as she walks towards you. Tears of frustration well in your eyes, and you expect the worst. You worked so hard to become her assistant, to earn this. The thought of it all going wrong would be enough to break you. You're vaguely aware of her rifling through papers on her desk.</p><p>"It's alright, dear! I have them right here. You must have forgotten them here last night. I reminded you to grab them but you seemed to be in quite a hurry." Hanji could sense the uneasiness coming from her assistant, her face softening as she pulls you into a hug, and it's desperately what you need at that moment. You breathe a sigh of relief now that you know you didn't mess this up. At least not this time.</p><p>You let your mind wander to last night. You had spent hours copying the indiscernible scribble-scratch of Hanji's field notes. You think of how you called her over to translate a particularly messy section, and you think of the way she gently touched your arm before her hand slid along your skin as she reached for the pen. The hairs on your body instantly rose, and combined with the chills going down your spine, you couldn't help the embarrassment that flooded through you. Before she could've said anything, you got up and ran, wishing her a hasty goodnight on your way out.</p><p>Your cheeks burn. No wonder you misplaced your papers.</p><p>But realization hit you; Hanji has her arms around you in a warm and comforting embrace. She's holding you, cradling you. The heat in your cheeks spread across your entire face, a dark shade of red replacing your usual skin tone. One of the reasons you wanted to be her assistant in the first place was to spend time with her. Your crush on Hanji isn't something new and has never been a secret. Everyone seems to know about it... except Hanji herself.</p><p>"Are you all right? Your heart is beating so fast," Hanji says, breaking the silence between you two. She pokes two fingers against your neck to feel the pulse, but you swat her hand away. You quickly pull away while looking in the other direction, hoping she doesn't notice your embarrassment.</p><p>"I'm fine, Squad Leader! Do you need my help with anything today?" you say, gathering enough strength to sound like you aren't melting before her eyes.</p><p>"Not for now. Over the course of the next few weeks, I'll be mostly filling out paperwork and preparing the lab to receive our new visitor," she beams, and the stars in her paired eyes with the excitement in her voice is more than enough to bring a smile to your face.</p><p>Hanji grabs your shoulders. "All I need is for you to study our past discoveries, but mostly prepare yourself for all the new ones we're about to make!" She begins to gently shake you, rocking you back and forth in her excitement. "Make sure to practice your 3D maneuvers as well, I wouldn't want to lose my favorite assistant!"</p><p>You feel your blush deepen, and wonder how she doesn't notice.</p><p>"Of course, Squad Leader," you say.</p><p>.</p><p>During the next four weeks, you spend your days mostly with your friends in the hopes some of their strongest skills rub off on you.</p><p>Mikasa teaches you how she handles her blade. You try your best to learn from her, but handling swords isn't your strong suit. But still, there is a noticeable improvement in your form. Thanks to her, your blades can firmly and precisely cut through a titan's nape without any problem.</p><p>Eren and Jean argue over who would help you with 3DM air movements until they finally agree that it would be best for both of them to assist you. This plan lasts less than a week until finally after you break up two fistfights and countless arguments, the two of them come to the conclusion that being around each other is worse than a death sentence. You start to practice on your own, but they manage to teach you a few new tricks, like being able to do a backflip before slicing the titan's neck, that way you would be able to move quickly and proceed to another titan in a matter of seconds.</p><p>Armin sits with you every day during lunch and dinner, keeping your knowledge on Titans sharp. He shuffles through bundles of cards as well as notebooks full of information. He quizzes you every day and corrects you when you're wrong. He's the most helpful of them all.</p><p>Reiner and Bertholdt do their best to train you in hand-to-hand combat. You won't need it, and Annie was better than they are, but they must have sparred with her enough for some of her moves to rub off, and you figure there's no harm in being overly prepared.</p><p>Krista teaches you what she knows about how to care for wounds with ingredients you can find in the forest. She shows you how to wrap an injury and how to do it quickly. Nothing new, but she is very good at helping others. Ymir shows up halfway through Krista's splinting demonstration, and you're pretty sure she only stays there so she can play the part of swooning, Injured Scout. Every so often she would let out a long sigh and moan about her fake injuries. "I'm so hurt Krista, please take care of me," she says. "If I survive this injury, please marry me Krista." You don't ask Ymir for help with anything, you know all she really puts effort into is charming Krista.</p><p>Sasha and Connie... well, they're certainly a good distraction when you need a break. Sasha tells you her hunting stories, and when she notices you're interested, her stories become much more dramatically performed. She recruits Connie to help her put on a play, and he plays every character in her stories: Sasha herself, the injured animal, even the sound of the wind as it rushes past the trees. They are exceptionally good at making you laugh. </p><p> </p><p>The night before the expedition departs, while you're in your room packing your bags and triple-checking your list making sure everything you might need is in it. Everything seems to be in order. Flare guns, medical supplies, a toothbrush and comb. A sudden knock on your door pulls you away from your thoughts.</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>"Y/N, can I come in?" says a familiar voice, and your heart skips. You nearly give yourself whiplash as you turn your head.</p><p>"Yes!" you call out, and the door creaks open. Your eyes meet Hanji's, and a familiar feeling overtakes you.</p><p>"I haven't seen you in so long. I miss you," she has a gentle smile on her face, and you feel your cheeks reddening as usual. Why must your body do this to you every time she's around? You signal for her to come inside, and Hanji closes the door behind her.</p><p>Hanji sits on your bed while reaching for your hand. She takes it and pulls you closer, excitement in her eyes. As soon as you readjust next to her, you impulsively wrap your arms around her shoulders. It takes Hanji by surprise, but she is quick to return the embrace. If only you had the courage to tell her how you feel before you leave tomorrow... but you can't risk clouding her mind with such thoughts. She needs to have a clear head tomorrow, and you need to be there for her no matter what. She may not know how you feel, but you need to remember her like this, just in case. You touch the rough fabric of her jacket, inhale the scent of her hair, feel the cold and hardness of her glasses press against your cheek. You just hold her, needing to feel her like it's the last thing you'd ever do on this Earth.</p><p>You wish you could stay forever in her arms, but you manage to pull yourself away after a few seconds. Hanji gives you a soft look. "What was that about?" she asks.</p><p>Your face feels so hot you're surprised you don't burst into flames. That familiar feeling takes over your body while your brain processes everything that just happened.</p><p>"I missed you too," is all you can say. "So, did you want to tell me something, Hanji?"</p><p>Her slight smile disappears. She takes a deep breath, as if the air in her lungs is about to be stolen, "I'm just a little nervous about tomorrow. I thought you might be able to help me calm down, but it seems like I didn't even need to ask," she says, smiling. "Do you feel ready?"</p><p>"Yes, I've been practicing to make sure I will not be killed tomorrow!", you say, forming fists with your hands and positioning them on your hips. You're proud of everything you've accomplished with your friends' help during these past few weeks. Hanji starts laughing, and you beam with pride. You hope this is what she needed.</p><p>When her laughter subsides, Hanji lets out a contented sigh. "I honestly don't know what I would do without you around," she says.</p><p>Your eyes widen, and you get embarrassed again. You can't help but look away. Her soft hand touches your shoulder, "I should get going now. I need to look over some details before we leave in the morning." She squeezes your shoulder. "I'll see you tomorrow?"</p><p>You nod. "Of course, Squad Leader."</p><p>.</p><p>"Our mission, the expedition to capture a Titan, will now commence! Give up your hearts for humanity!" Commander Erwin's voice echoes clearly throughout the scouts as the gate opens fully. While screaming, he signals with his arms and the horses sprint outside the wall in formation. The gate closes behind them with a heavy thunk.</p><p>The sky is a beautiful shade of blue, with very few clouds. The cold breeze against your skin brings chills everywhere it touches. There are goosebumps all over your body, but the excitement rushing through your veins is enough to keep you warm for now. You've been preparing yourself for this for the past month and you feel like for once, luck is on your side.</p><p>Right next to you rides Hanji. Her laugh rings out louder than dozens of thundering hooves and yelling Scouts. The Commander had asked you to stay by her side at all times, mostly to keep her from getting herself killed, and judging by the twinkle in his eye, you could tell that your affections were noticed even at the highest level of the Scouting Regiment.</p><p>As the formation rides out, Hanji takes a moment to meet your eyes, and you smile at her. Today is going to be a win for humanity, you think to yourself.</p><p>You could not be more wrong.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. After</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After an hour or so peacefully riding your horses towards the forest, you begin to feel the floor shaking in the distance. Not long after, the first red flare is fired. A Titan. Thinking back on your knowledge acquired studying Titans with Hanji, you know it is a 5m from the way the ground is trembling - not tall enough that it will necessarily take more than a couple of Scouts to kill, but could still cause damage if it wasn't stopped in time. </p><p>You move your face to the right, enough so you can look at Hanji to see if this is the one she wants. She shakes her head - she doesn't want a regular titan. You know that that crazy look in her eyes can only mean one thing. She's after an Abnormal. Goosebumps travel up and down your body, and you reposition yourself on your horse to face forward once again. Without even realizing it, a smug smirk spreads across your face. This is going to be so fun! </p><p>"Reiner! - " you scream. Your throat hurts from the effort you put into the sound, yet you still prepare yourself to do it again. </p><p>" - I need you to ride to the center of the formation. Inform the Commander that if an Abnormal appears, bring it closer to us. Tell them they should not kill it unless absolutely necessary!" </p><p>"Of course," Reiner screams back, allowing his cloak to fall back against his shoulders. His blonde hair ruffles in the wind, a ridiculous smile plastered across his face, "but I'm just curious," he says, and you know exactly what's about to come out of his mouth before he says it as he yells, "Who the fuck put you in charge?"</p><p>Before you even have time to laugh at his stupid comeback, the beautiful brown haired scientist riding alongside you responds, "I did!" </p><p>Eyes wide, his lips scrunch up as he turns away to avoid eye contact with you and Hanji. </p><p>"Now go, Reiner!" Hanji says. </p><p>"Yes ma'am!", is all he says before he steers his horse left and rides out of sight. He doesn't give you the chance to say anything in response. </p><p>You can feel the laughter bubbling up in your chest, from deep in your throat to burst out of your mouth. You try to hold it in until the blonde soldier is out of sight, but you know he can hear you. </p><p>Tears form in your eyes as your stomach starts to hurt. You just can't keep it in. The look on Reiner's face is the funniest thing you've seen in a long while. Once you finally manage to slow down and take a deep breath to pull yourself together, you look over to Hanji to find she's been carefully watching you the whole time. </p><p>"Thank you for defending me!", you shout, flashing her the biggest smile you can manage.</p><p>"Of course! I'm not going to let anyone undermine you! You are my second in command right now! You know me better than anyone else! That's what makes you such an amazing assistant," her grin widens, "and an amazing friend!" </p><p>You can feel the heat rising in your cheeks once again, but before you can reply, you notice something in the corner of your eye.</p><p>It's a black flare.</p><p>You and Hanji lock eyes for a brief moment before you both let out an excited scream at the same time - "LET'S GO!" </p><p>.</p><p>You can see it now. The Titan is easily 7 meters tall, if not taller. It has blonde hair and brown eyes, and a relatively normally-proportioned body and facial features, but you notice it's walking with a strange limp. At its ankles, the Titan's feet were pointed in the opposite direction they should be. Yet, it runs ahead eagerly as if nothing is different. You've never even thought this was possible. </p><p>Perfect!  You think to yourself. </p><p>You stand up on your horse and switch to your 3D maneuver gear. You shoot your grapples around the top of a tree branch and swing on top to land on your feet with a sense of balance that you're proud of. Multiple horses ride toward where you and the rest of the Scouts stand above them. The massive titan follows the Scouts closely, too close for anyone's comfort, but they're not giving up. </p><p>Once the monster is close enough, you and Hanji share a look before you run towards it, preparing yourselves to jump down on its shoulders, cut off its limbs, and strap it to the floor before it regenerates. </p><p>Data collected on previous missions showed that it takes approximately 4 minutes for its arms to regenerate, but it shouldn't take you that long to trap it. You're all extremely prepared for this, you've practiced for this and almost every other situation. </p><p>Now it's the time to prove you know what you're doing - except nothing could have prepared you for what came next.</p><p>The trap used to capture the titan is a fraction of a second late. You're already in the air, arms flung back in preparation to cut its underarm when you notice something is wrong. </p><p>Everything happens in slow motion as you see it's massive arm intercept the cables of your grapples, yanking you like a yo-yo across the trees. Your body collides against one of the many enormous trees surrounding you. The pain shoots all over your body. It is too intense, and your vision gets more clouded by the second. You could hear Hanji screaming your name, but you didn't stay conscious for much longer than that.</p><p>A few minutes pass by, but the damage caused by the titan makes it seem like much longer. You could see bodies all around you, at least 10, 15. Your comrades, your friends, dead because of a mistake out of your control. </p><p>Huh?  you think, and that's all that goes through your brain at moment. There is blood dripping down your face, and you're unable to tell if it's yours, the Titan's, or to one of the many bodies lying next to you. </p><p>A 5m titan wanders closer to you with every second, and somehow you manage to pull all the strength left in you. Your body is finally forced to sit up, despite all the pain, in your head, your bones, your heart. </p><p>"Why is this happening? This is not how today was supposed to go. We prepared for this expedition for weeks!" suddenly you stop talking. Your mind starts spinning as you desperately look amongst the pile of bodies, searching for one in particular. </p><p>"H-Hanji?" you manage to force out a whisper, but as soon as you take a deep breath, all the pain you were feeling, the grief for your fallen comrades, the rage towards titans, "HANJI!" </p><p>As you become more aware of your surroundings, the warm blood dripping down your face and the pain of your broken ribs are almost enough to make you stop fighting, but a  small voice in the back of your head says: You need to find a way out of this forest and back home. You can't let the titans win! </p><p>You grab your blades and swing them with all your might, trying your hardest to keep the 5M Titan away for as long as you can until you have a plan. The truth is you just can't die now, but you also can't fight for much longer as you feel your body starting to cave in. The pain from your ribs is becoming unbearable, and your lungs feel like they will collapse at any moment. With every breath is getting harder to breathe. You want to keep fighting for longer, but in your condition, it just doesn't seem possible. </p><p>It's alright Y/N, you think to yourself, Your efforts weren't enough, but that's ok. Putting the blade down, you accept your fate, but hopefully, it will be quick. You close your eyes as the massive hands wrap around your already crushed body. </p><p>"Oh no, you don't!" someone screams, and their voice is the last thing you hear before passing out once again. </p><p>.</p><p> </p><p>You wake up to a bright light shining in your face. Your eyes open slowly, groggily. </p><p>Is this the afterlife? No. You can hear the saline dripping, in what kind of afterlife would you be hooked up to an IV in? </p><p>The pain in your head travels all over your body as if it's using your veins to move around. You try to readjust, but stop when a new pain shoots through your chest. You count one, two, three broken ribs. It could be worse. At least you're still alive. Your eyes slowly travel down the bruises that cover your body. Some scratches, stitches, broken fingers and toes. You are not even certain that you still have all of your teeth. </p><p>The shape beside you shifts ever so slightly, but it's enough to catch your attention. You turn to look, and into focus comes Hanji. Her head lay on her arms, which rest on top of your mattress next to your right hand. This is one of the few times you've ever seen her hair down - it looks a little messy, but it's still as beautiful as ever. Her glasses are folded on the bedside table in front of her. How long has she been sitting here?</p><p>"Han...ji..?" The effort you put into making the sound for only her name to come out is considerable. It scratches and burns, to your frustration, but the weak noise is enough to get her attention.</p><p>"You're awake!" she says as tears fill her tired brown eyes. "I was so worried about you - please don't ever do that to me again!" A small hiccup forms in the back of her throat. Her lower lip quivers. </p><p>The mere sight of Hanji crying is enough to shatter your heart. You try your best to comfort her within your confines. You reach to touch her hand, eyes softening. The sharp pain of your ribs again forces you to gently recline your back on your pillow once again, but you hold her hand tightly.</p><p>"What happened?" you ask. </p><p>"The Abnormal we were trying to trap moved faster than anticipated it would. The soldiers fired the net approximately 1.9 seconds late but it was enough to derail the entire plan."</p><p>She lifts your hand to plant a kiss on it, almost like she was buying herself time before she had to tell you what the rest of the losses were. Flashes of memories come back to you snippets at a time, not enough to give you a full understanding of what happened, but enough to make your heart sink. </p><p>Hanji continues, "Your jump would have been perfectly timed if everything had gone according to plan. When the Titan got out, it tangled your line, and you went flying into a tree." You remember the pain you felt at that moment, you've never felt anything like that before. You could remember clearly the sound your ribs made as they broke. </p><p>"After that, it became clear to everyone that our mission had failed, and by the time Commander Erwin gave the retreat order, the Abnormal had already eaten everyone around you. Your body was laying among all the corpses around you and I thought I lost you forever -" Hanji abruptly cuts herself off. She catches her breath and closes her eyes to compose herself. </p><p>"I heard you scream my name. I ran back to find you, and you were in the Titan's hand. I couldn't let that happen, obviously. I cut off its arm and caught you while Captain Levi went for the nape. I carried your body to the medic's cart, and I haven't left you since." </p><p> </p><p>"How long?" you croak. </p><p>Hanji sighs, "Four days." </p><p>"And you've been here the whole time?" </p><p>Hanji smiles. "I only left for bathroom breaks." </p><p>You roll your eyes, but for a few moments, you forget about the pain covering every inch of you. You were never one for impulsivity but now, your body moves on its own. You're more than familiar with how this scene plays out - you think about it constantly. Your hands shake, and you feel your nerves getting worse the longer it takes. </p><p>You've been wanting to do for this for years, and now you have the perfect moment. After what happened, you need to kiss her, even if it's the only time you ever do. So, gently but quickly enough that you can't take it back, you grab her face and pull her to your lips. As they seal together, Hanji is taken by surprise, but just as quickly melts away in your embrace. She places her arms on your shoulders as you deepen the kiss. </p><p>It's exactly the way you imagined it would be. Goosebumps rise on your body in response to her soft breath against your mouth. A tiny sob escapes your lips as you're all at once reminded you of how much it hurts to move. But that doesn't stop you. After what feels like hours, you pull away reluctantly. You don't want this moment to ever end.</p><p>The bright red blush covering her cheeks makes her look even prettier than usual. She gently touches her lips, looking off into the distance like she's lost in thought. </p><p>You pull her back into the moment "Squad Leader..." you begin, taking a deep breath and forming fists with your hands. You gather every ounce of courage you have in you. It's now or never. "I've been in love with you for quite some time, and I should've said something before but I was scared." </p><p>Once you've started talking, the words pour out of your mouth. </p><p>"Now that I almost became Titan food, I don't want to keep it in any longer. I love the way your eyes sparkle when you're talking about Titans. I love the way your hair falls over your shoulders when you're training, and the way you adjust the straps of your glasses. I could sit here and list everything that's great about you because you are the most amazing person I have ever met."</p><p>Your hands start to shake, and your throat burns with effort, but you push out your most important statement. "I'm deeply and completely in love with you, Hanji."</p><p>Her mouth hangs open slightly. </p><p>Did I just make a huge mistake? It doesn't matter - I had to get this off my chest, you think to yourself. </p><p>She's extremely quiet for a few seconds - no more than a minute, but enough time for you to start panicking. </p><p>"Since when?" she asks. </p><p>"Since I listened to your guest lecture on titans when I was still in the Training Corps."</p><p>"Why haven't you said anything up until now?"</p><p>You can't help but laugh. "Everyone in the Survey Corps, and probably everyone in the entire military already knows. I just assumed you weren't interested."</p><p>"Huh?? I've never noticed!!" she says, waving her hands above her head. You laugh again as you readjust yourself on the bed. "But now that I think about it, I guess you did hug me a lot for no apparent reason... and Erwin did insist that you be my assistant..." she counts off on her fingers, "and you always blushed when I touched you and - oh wait." </p><p>She looks down at her legs, her fingers flying to fidget with her hair. "I can't believe I didn't notice..." Her blush spreads deeper once the realization hits her. "The truth is, I've been liking you too, but I thought you liked Captain Levi, or Eren." </p><p>You wrinkle your nose, shaking your head. Hanji laughs, standing up to wave you over to the other side of the bed. She lies beside you on the hospital bed, placing her head on your shoulder while carefully lacing your fingers together. She's careful not to bump your injuries. The smell of her hair awakens the butterflies in your stomach, and you place your chin on her head to wrap your free arm around her shoulder. </p><p>"I'm glad you're alive." Hanji says. Her voice is barely audible, her words meant for you alone. "From now on, I won't leave your side. You'll be out in the forest killing titans in no time." </p><p>You smile. "Right now, there's no other place that I'd rather be than right here next to you." She looks up at your face, flashing you a grin before she pulls you closer, and your lips close against each other once again. </p><p>.</p><p>A week later, you listen to birds chirp outside of the window while you read your book. The sunlight feels warm and nice against your legs, and the rare silence you're in is much appreciated. It doesn't last long.</p><p>"Y/N!!!!!!!!!" </p><p>The door barges open to reveal a gaggle of teenagers stumbling over one another. </p><p>"Y/N! I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU!" Sasha yells as she runs to hold your hand, but her attention quickly shifts to the half-eaten bean soup on your bedside table. She looks at the soup, and then at you once again.</p><p>"You can have it, Sasha," you say with a smile, gesturing to the small bowl. The starved brown-haired girl doesn't lose a second and instantly starts to devour it. A giggle escaping your body as you watch her.</p><p>"How are you feeling?" Eren asks before sitting on the bed.</p><p>"I'm alright, but I'll need to stay behind during the next few expeditions. I should be good as new in a month or two!" </p><p>They stay with you for a little less than an hour, telling you all about their experiences with the failed mission. You find out from them which soldiers were lost and which were injured, along with other small details Hanji didn't mention.</p><p>A knock on the door causes all eyes to turn away from you for a moment.  Hanji starts to enter, and then gasps as she realizes you have guests. </p><p>"Am I interrupting something?" she asks. </p><p>You flash her a caring smile while reaching your hand out to grab hers. She blushes slightly, but sits beside you. "Of course not. I was wondering where you were," you say. Mikasa makes eye contact with you, and then looks pointedly at your hands as they sit clasped. You blush too. </p><p>"Meeting with the Commander," Hanji sighs, "It went on for longer than expected, I'm sorry."</p><p>You could hear the giggles coming from your friends as their eyes rest upon you and Hanji.</p><p>"We should get going now, but we'll be sure to come over again soon!" Armin says as he and Mikasa push the rest of the group through the door. </p><p>Hanji leans forward to kiss your forehead. You close your eyes, and when you open them, you meet Mikasa's emotionless gaze from a crack in the doorway, Hanji's lips still on you. Your eyes widen, but Mikasa just nods, face unchanged, and closes the door behind herself. </p><p>"They're good friends to you," Hanji says after a few seconds. </p><p>You smile."They're also a handful. But yeah, you're right."</p><p>A long, rather comforting silence passes between the two of you. During the silence, you take time to focus on how soft her skin feels against your fingers, tracing the visible veins on her hand as your mind drifts away. You're pulled back to reality as soon as you hear her voice.</p><p>"It's a beautiful day outside, would you like to sit on the grass with me?"</p><p>.</p><p>The breeze rushes through your messy hair as you adjust yourself on top of the blanket. You squint your eyes and places your arm against your forehead in an attempt to keep the sunshine from hurting your vision. </p><p>"There's something I want to ask you, Hanji," you mumble. </p><p> </p><p>"Yes?" She inquires, tilting her head while looking at you.</p><p> </p><p>"Do you want to be my girlfriend?" The expression on your face remains the same as when you had been peacefully basking in the sun, but you can hear your blush rushing, heart pounding in your ears. She looks away while blushing, and you're able to notice a smile appear on her face.</p><p>"There's nothing I would like more," she says, turning to face you once again. "Well maybe an abnormal, but I do want this a lot."</p><p>"You're impossible!" you say while gently pushing her arm. </p><p>As you two laugh, your bodies get closer as if they are moving on their own until your lips are sealed in a love-filled kiss. You wrap your arms around her neck while she grabs your hips, slowly pulling you onto her lap. </p><p>"I'm in love with you, Hanji." you whisper against her lips, not wanting anyone else to hear these words but her.</p><p>"And I'm in love with you, Y/N."</p><p>You hug her tightly, feeling her hair against your face as the smell of her shampoo fills your nose. For the first time since you started to prepare for the now-failed mission that led to your injury, your body isn't in pain anymore. You can relax in Hanji's arms, knowing that your long time crush is finally your partner. You can worry about researches and experiments and missions later, right now all you need is Hanji.</p><p>"Let's stay here for a little while longer," she says before resting her back against the grass, carefully pulling you towards her. Your head rests on her shoulder as your fingers lace together, a feeling of peace takes over your body knowing that from now on, you'll have her by your side no matter what.</p><p>"Yeah... I would like that." You say as you close your eyes, focusing on her breathing as the warmth of the sun and the gentle breeze lull you to sleep. <br/>Maybe the next time Hanji comes up with the idea to capture another titan, you'll stay in the lab instead.</p>
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